Little Red Line Riding Hood

[amartin1982]

Does anyone hear about this fairy tale story about the Little Red Riding Hood? I do when a story scene between Little Red Riding Hood vs. The Wolf. Let me tell you a Chicago transit fairy tale story about the Little Red Line Riding Hood as you catching the Red Line El going between Howard and 95/Dan Ryan. Here it is. Once upon a time, there was a 2600-series train car who lived in a train garage, Howard Yard & Shops in Rogers Park area near north between Chicago and Evanston. Whenever, she went out, the 2600-series train car with a red sign, 95/Dan Ryan and wore a red riding cloak, so everyone at the Howard Yard & Shops called her Little Red Line Riding Hood.

One morning, Little Red Line Riding Hood asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other. When the basket was ready, the 2600-series train car put on her red cloak and kissed her mother goodbye.

[warning her daughter about talking to strangers]

Little Red Line Riding Hood's Mother: Remember go straight over to your grandmother's house at 98th Street Yard & Shops. Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The woods are dangerous.

Little Red Line Riding Hood: Don't worry, mom. I'll be careful.

But when Little Red Line Riding Hood noticed two stations with free transfer connections, Belmont and Fullerton in Lakeview and Lincoln Park areas, she forgot her promise to her mother. She picked up few riders, watched them board here from other trains about for awhile, waiting for any signals ahead and then picked up few more riders. Little Red Line Riding Hood was enjoying the nice summer day so much, that she didn't notice a dark shadow approaching on one of these elevated stations of Howard Red Line behind her.

Suddenly, the wolf appeared beside her.

[the Wolf asked in a voice as friendly as he could muster]

The Wolf: What are you doing here, little girl?

[she replied]

Little Red Line Riding Hood: I'm on my way to see my grandmother who lives at 98th Street Yard & Shops located on State Street and Bishop Ford Freeway, Route 94 near the ramps between Dan Ryan Expressway and Bishop Ford Freeway.

The wolf, in the meanwhile, took a shortcut on elevated beams to catch the Brown Line by going south via Franklin, Wells, Van Buren and Wabash before he gets off at Adams/Wabash to transfer to Green or Orange Line trains going south. So the wolf pulled a red emergency cord to stop the train before he got off at 13th Place beam before goes down the tracks to the tunnel under the street, 13th Place. Than the wolf goes down inside the tunnel 13th Street underground before the catching the Red Line train at Roosevelt subway transfering to Green and Orange Line trains by going south to 95/Dan Ryan Transit Center. When the train stops at the last terminal, 95/Dan Ryan, the wolf stayed on the train before going to the 98th Street train garage like bus garage.

The wolf, a little out of breath from running, arrived her grandmother's house at 98th Street Yard & Shops and went in and knocked very lightly at the door.

[Little Red Line Riding Hood's grandmother thinks that the knock was her granddaughter]

Little Red Line Riding Hood's Grandmother: Oh thank goodness dear! Come in, come in! I was worried sick that something had happened to you on every elevated stations of Howard Red Line.

The wolf let himself in. Poor Granny didn't have time to say another word, before the wolf gobbled her up! The wolf let out a satisfied burp, and then poked through Granny's wardrobe to find a nightgown that he liked. He added a frilly sleeping cap, and for good measure, dabbed some of Granny's perfume behind his pointy ears. A few minutes later, Little Red Line Riding Hood knocked on the door. The wolf jumped into her bed and pulled the covers over his nose.

[calling in his cackly voice]

The Wolf: Who is it?

Little Red Line Riding Hood: It's me, Little Red Line Riding Hood.

[croaked]

The Wolf: Oh, how lovely! Do come in, my dear.

When Little Red Line Riding Hood entered 98th Street Shops & Yards, she could scarcely recognizing her grandmother.

Little Red Line Riding Hood: Grandma! Your voice sounds so odd. Is something wrong?

[squeaking by adding a cough at the end to prove the point]

The Wolf: Oh, I just have touch of a cold.

[edging closer to the bed]

Little Red Line Riding Hood: But, Grandma! What big ears you have?

The Wolf: The better to hear you with.

Little Red Line Riding Hood: But, Grandma! What big eyes you have?

The Wolf: The better to see you with.

[her voice quivering slightly]

Little Red Line Riding Hood: But, Grandma! What big teeth you have?

[roared and lept out of the bed and began to chase her]

The Wolf: THE BETTER TO EAT YOU GOOD, MY DEAR!

Little Red Line Riding Hood: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Almost too late, Little Red Line Riding Hood realized that the person in the bed was not her grandmother, but a evil, hungry wolf. She ran across the garage through the exit.

[shouting as loudly as she could]

Little Red Line Riding Hood: HELP! A WOLF!

The CTA employees and the transit cops who are working at 95/Dan Ryan Transit Center nearby heard her terrible cry and came towards the 98th Street Yard & Shops as fast as they could. They grabbed the wolf and made him split out the poor grandmother who was a bit frazzled by the whole experience, but still in one piece.

[last lines]

Little Red Line Riding Hood: [sobbed] Oh, Grandma. I was so scared! I'll never speak to strangers or dawdle on any elevated stations on the North Side beam again.

Little Red Line Riding Hood's Grandmother: There, child. You've learned your important lesson. Thank goodness you shouted loud enough for CTA employees and transit cops to hear you!

They killed the wolf, carried him and threw his body into the deep river around the streets 95th Street, Ewing Avenue, Harbor Avenue and South Chicago Avenue so it's over now. Little Red Line Riding Hood and her grandmother had a nice lunch and a long chat.

Remember to suspect the wolf who disguises a grandmother at 98th Street Shops & Yards with all Red Line train cars lining up on a train yard. You thought it was a grandmother of hers.

[Chi-town Kid]

You have too much time on your hands if you wrote that story.

[Busjack]

If you have the time, you could write about Pace 2602, who went to the Naperville Oktoberfest and ate the third kid scientist's porridge because it didn't undergo an exothermic reaction, then married CTA 7805, who turned into a pumpkin. They had a child named Metra 409, who was a bad boy and was twice sent to his room. One time he coupled with Metra 411 and together they thought up the Southside proposal. 411 was then exiled to the north suburbs.

But who has the time for that?

[MetroShadow]

still funny enough to go either way, disturbing or not.

[busfan4022]

I don't get it.....